What I Wish I’d Known in My 30s to Prepare for Perimenopause
If you had told 30-something me that I’d hit a major health crisis in my early 40s, that i’d discover I have ‘leaky gut’ and my nervous system would be sent into a spiral and propel even more deeply into healing my body. I wouldn’t have believed you.
I was strong. Capable. A mother. Always giving.
But what I didn’t understand then, what I know now, is that the body keeps the score. And its been keeping the score for a very long time…even all those years ago when I was 18, drinking and partying, not taking care of my body.
I wish I had questioned some of my lingering health issues, the rosacea, the history of anxiety.
But, like me, most of us don’t respond until the pain is big enough. And by then, the body isn’t whispering anymore, it’s screaming.
Here’s what I wish I had known in my 30s:
1. There is more to perimenopause than hot flashes.
They look like irritability and anxiety that feels out of character. Brain fog. Gut issues. Fatigue that no amount of sleep seems to fix. I thought I was just tired, just run down. In truth, I was already in the early stages of perimenopause, and I had no idea.
2. Stress and depletion are not badges of honour.
I gave from an empty cup for years, thinking it was a sign of strength and goodness. Burnout deeply effects the nervous system and gut. It’s disconnection. But depletion is not resilience. I wish I had been kinder to my body, gentler with my expectations, more protective of my energy.
3. Rest is not a reward, it’s a requirement.
If I could go back, I’d stop thinking it was a weakness to need rest. I’d learn how to truly listen to my body, not override it. I’d say no more often. I’d do less, and feel more.
4. Supporting your nervous system is the most important thing you can do.
The histamine intolerance I’ve been navigating recently is a loud signal that my body and nervous system are calling for more love and support. What do I need to learn and apply to deeply nourish my system.
5. Perimenopause isn’t the end. It’s a reckoning and a rebirth.
We aren’t taught this. We’re taught to brace for impact. To push through. But perimenopause is a sacred, powerful transition, one that demands we re-evaluate what we carry, what we believe, and who we truly are. I wish I had started preparing for that shift sooner.
If you’re in your 30s or early 40s, this is your gentle nudge.
Don’t wait for the crisis.
Don’t wait until your body collapses to start listening.
Don’t wait until you feel broken to begin the process of repair.
Start now. Nourish yourself. Get curious about what your body is saying. Make space for the kind of support that sees you before everything falls apart.
At Murmurr, we’ve made it our mission to change the narrative around menopause. To help women prepare long before it feels urgent. Because the earlier you tend to yourself, the softer the landing.
With love,
Bridget x